DEc19 20009

At my parents house i watch The Office and its makes me cry a lot for some reaosn but for the record i like that show a lot im 25 i should have a job?but i do ont Ive been hallucinating a lot lately but its cool its that mexico city kind in the cathedarl with the wax piles its just that i want to STAY there FOREVER! nt come out uhvvvvvvi used to use the trrm conceptual platform" when i was explaining things to myself on purpose this was in the spring time i LOVE the spring time now its just something i remmebr walking on the cliffs trying to rationalize the last fiour months to myself though know i lust after them last years suffering was som much better than this years suffering aint that always the case?

Sacred Jaguar Knowledge- a begginers path

There is a wolf i keep seeing around. He wears a hawaiian shirt and is always bothering my chick. The wolf has a posse. In his posse is this really rich kid who always wears an unbuttoned shirt with his bare chest hanging out. He's really into that 2cb stuff. He told me it makes you hear voices and he likes that. Theres also this really old lady in the wolfs posse. She kind of looks like the gramma from Wedding Crashers. She also wears a hawaiian shirt. I dont know who these people are really.

The wolf says he is of memory. He said i am a wolf of memory. I take that to mean he deals with the world of memories. What he does in reference to memory is still unclear. I just know for sure that hes there though.

The wolf of memory says he knows Jaguar Pants. Aside from his Hawaiian shirt he also wears a very complicated and tall head dress that is made out of old rags and scraps of Islamic rugs and furs and even taxidermied wolf heads. Why this wolf has wolf heads on its head i dont know. There are also emplt glass coke bottles. All of this makes the wolf look like some sort of Shamanic being from Norse mythology which i actually think it might be.

The wolf said he is from the snow. He seems to be from the snow as Jaguar is from the jungle. The wolf has two blue eyes. The wolf has two pupils in each of his blue eyes.



The ascending path of the Jaguar knowldge-
The Jaguar Pants walk in front of you and contained in each step and in each movement is the entirety of the sacred Jagura knowledge. Always. All the information is there available for you in the glow of the Jaguar Pants. Just look.

Or, the hard way- Each step is like a box. The box has a cover. The covers relate to each other but to understand how you have to understand the contents of each box. Inside each box are four keys. In my experience so far it seems that the keys are never first understood or grasped in chronolodgical order. It seems there is a certain amount of leap frogging around and that sometimes years can pass before understanding what order your insights should be in so as you can understand the order of the steps.

Its like this-
correct order of insight = correct order of keys
correct order of keys= complete understanding of step = understanding the cover of the next step.

For example-

These are the keys for the first step in their correct order-

1. Practice turning your body into Jaguar Pants. Actually your whole life should be turned into Jaguar Pants, the body is just the easiest part to start with. The body is what you start with and the heart is what is most important. The heart is most important. Once the heart is turned into the Jaguar Pants you are ready begin dissolving.

2. Dissolving- Dissolving is maybe the easiest step. Everyone has it in them to dissolve. specifically you are supposed to dissolve everything. Human history is the history of dissolve flux. Dissolve everything until its white and glowing. This is when you will truly have Jaguar vision.

3. Jaguar vision- This is when you see the world as Jaguar Pants sees it, where everything is glowing and white like the Jaguar Pants, except for the things that need to become a part of the Jaguar Pants. When i firt saw this the way it looked was that i saw Jaguar Pants walking around in his house ( i believe he was in the library ) and when he came to a certain point it was as though i was looking at a split screen where on the left side reality was as i have always seen it, same forms shapes and colors as usual and on the right side everything was white and glowing except for a few things which were still normally visible. These things were not floating but were postioned in relation to other things that seemed to adhere to the same laws and principles as the the left side of the screen but were invisible. When Jaguar Pants walked into the right side of the screen all that remained visible was his torso. The Jaguar Pants he wore blended in perfectly with the surroundings. The first object he came across was a small ceramic owl that seemed to be an ornament on a bookshelf ( unseen though, as ive already said ). He picked the owl up with his hand and brought it to his Pants at which point it dissapeared. Seeing this was how i realized how Jaguar Pants sees the world and why he is capable of wearing the Jaguar Pants. Becuase once you have the vision of a Jaguar you see the Jaguar Pants in everything and it is simple. Note: For some reason seeing this example with the split screen really reminded me of the Wolf that i mentioned above and leads me to further wonder about the nature of the relationship between Jaguar Pants and the wolf. Are they friends, enemies, cousins, old schoolchums? I think they maybe are something more than whatever label i could throw on them but i think that they for sure do respect each other as well as despise each other. I think theyre indispenciable from one another and they know it. As to whether they love each other or not, thats open to debate but i suspect that love is not out of the question for what they seem to accomplish individually is of love.

4. Step four is when you put on the Jaguar Pants. This happens after you have the Jaguar vision and everything you see glows white and beautiful like the Jaguar Pants. If you can find the Jaguar Pants amidst a world where everything is made of Jaguar Pants then you certainly deserve to wear them. I personally dont know how its done. This is why i am simply a decorator and not the one who wears the Jaguar Pants. I used to have a theory that the Jaguar Pants were first put on by leaf cutter ants. I beleived that if you had the Jaguar vision and you stood very still that the leaf cutters would carry the pants to you and if you let them walk along the skin of your legs and your waist and your hips then they would put bring the Jaguar Pants around you and you would walk.


I was at the party and she walked towards me and massaged me from my head down to my hips and i could not walk away from her. She said a lot of people carry tension in their neck and started massaging my neck. You have a gift i said. She ran her fingers along my ribs like a Jaguar strutting along the limbs of a tall tree. The leaf cutters were shitting their pants at this point. Then the wolf of memory came and invited me into his house.

The wolf of memory said "Look i know weve had some weird run ins in the past and you probably think im kind of a creep but hear me out, im actually a really nice guy and i think maybe i have something to offer that you havent really considered yet. Id like to get to know you and who knows maybe you could even help me out. Am i wrong in assuming that youre at least curious? Ive seen the way youve helped out Jaguar Pants and ive got to say, thats pretty impressive work you guys are doing. I gotta admit im actually a little envious of the two of you." There was a big black cauldron in front of the wolf of memory and he was stirring something in it. I couldnt stop staring. For some reason i really dont like cauldrons.

"I know you dont really know me at all and theres a bit of mystery about what it is exactly that i do. Believe me though it can all be easily explained. I see you staring at this cauldron right now and ive got to laugh a little. You look very uncomfortable am i wrong? Is this making you uneasy?"

I told him i was ok i just didnt really know what i thought about cauldrons.

"Ha ha ha. I know you dont. This cauldrons just a joke i dont really need something like for my work. What do you think were in the middle ages here? Sheesh gimme a break. I just knew you were coming over and i knew you didnt like cauldrons so i decided i wanted to have a little joke at your expense. Please dont take it personally i just couldnt help myself."

"Very funny" i said dryly.

"Oh come on, dont be mad at me. Come on look, lets go in the other room i want to show you my book collection"

So we got up and went into the other room and sure enought theres a pretty good sized book case on the wall and its full of books except the thing is none of the books have titles on their spines.

"Think about something youve always wanted to read a book about" the wolf of memory said.

"Why are there no titles any of these books?" i asked him.

"Well these are not normal books he said

cross faded

The devil appeared to a monk as an angel of light, and said to him, 'I am the angel Gabriel, and i have been sent to you.' But the monk said, ' Are you sure you weren't sent to someone else? I am not worthy to have an angel sent to me.' At that the devil vanished.











I want my blog to be like one of those letters dudes send in to penthouse that talk about them having threesomes i live in a basement infected with black mold and i dont really hang out with anyone anymore. Lately ive been getting more phone calls from strangers asking me about Kristen Stewart than i do from people that i actually know. Tonight a girl from Indiana called and was like 'what mountain should i meet you on?' and then i thought about it and told her maybe pace mountain or maybe a mountain in South America. She said ive never been to disneyland i said what kind of a childhood did you have? She said i grew up in Indiana surrounded by drunk people.

Loneliness of yogi loneliness of candle loneliness of romantic dont tell anything fucking ever a purple keep all secerets make it shitty to throw them off the trail off of the trail to your house then i show up the lonely boy in fake wolf fur and real rabbit fur four years of taxidermy lessons down the drain you dont even remmeber me and i bring you a skull one hit of acceed in left eye one hit of acceed in right eye your father burned my friends face on the carpet one long carpet burn is all it took to see her head turned into a tibetan skull name your most emberassing dream a sunrise a chapel fucking a apple slices to feed the tibetan skulls and all the hans pour your dads carpet cleaner on the hans burn them away so theres only one hand what knid of knife so crisp for apple slice and wheres peanut butter the one offering you this skull of my friend my dear friend i could say some nice things about her but to be honest im glad your dad carpet burned her face off i think that suits her well after all shes tibetan now something she could never achieve before his talents graced her and this suits me just fine too i will have to climb less trees and i can just stay in this bed with you she was asking for it anyways i could tell all the time whenever she was walking on carpet i could see there was something that was gonna happen honestly i think we could all see it lets face it shall we and now if you dont mind i have to have you look at this skull here you see there are two hits of acceed and you know your dad capret burned this skull into what it is today so i think you know what i am going to say you know what i think is beautiful fuckin a a chapel is beautiful specially converted to a library the cold creek your voice my voice out of the ground or maybe in a purse a womans purse is where i heard it is but then again my timing may be off now me sitting on my meditating shoulders krisitin sitting on the shoulders of the girl from the bath tub hey now hey now dont dream its over we are all holding hands hey now hey now we form a square a square there are four of us so its a square hey now hey now dont dream its over tecate in may molly in april hey now hey now summer knows you need this fall knows youre sad winter knows your dead hey now hey now dont dream its over meet me back at your house lets do it all lets be fucking dumb as stalagmites tibet skull spleunks into my heart while i sleep and i am so happy its there so happy its there hey now hey now dont dream its over hey now hey now dont dream its over